by David Lehman

          I used to have a small cock and a big ego, but then I realized the wisdom of doing things the other way around. Now I concur with Theodore Roosevelt who held that to “walk softly and carry a big stick” was the right idea though he did not always practice it himself. But then no man is at ease with his full-frontal nudity in the long pier glass. The fair sex is repelled by the sight of a disembodied cock or one that is divulged under a man’s great coat like an accessory to a crime. But give a man a look at a woman’s pubic patch and he liken it to the warm springs of a southern resort to which the convalescing athlete repairs for regular treatments. Thank you for the cucumber sandwiches, Gilbert. …

by Henry Israeli

The mother in the movie Mother would kill for her son.
Not so my mother, who, if anything went wrong,
laid blame squarely on me. If a kid hit me,
I probably deserved it. And why was I bothering her anyway? …